Gifts by God - Sarrah blog

Just a thought that came into my mind and I want to share.

With the first day of our existence in this world,

we all have been granted many gifts from Allah.

Gifts like beauty, intelligence, common sense, good health, 

good digestive system, and our 5 senses,

i.e., the ability to feel, see, smell, hear, and taste to name among the few.

You all will agree that everyone is not so lucky. Many times people say "I don't like this food" or use other negative words or even if you force too much then they will throw it in the bin. We don't realize that we are among the gifted ones to eat everything halal food (food permissible to consume as per Islam).

You should ask those people who love desserts but are diabetic, those people who are fond of food but are having a cholesterol or other heart disease. There are a few vegetables and fruits that I don't like to eat, but I just say Alhumdolilla(thanks to Allah) and pretend to be my favorite as I want to teach my children not to refuse any halal food that is served to them.

Times are changing so, should we? The answer is yes. As a mother, I would love to see my kids always around me even when they become an adult. but, who knows for their career and survival they might migrate to which part of the earth. maybe as parents, we are not able to accompany them, the initial stage they will have to survive without us. 

As parents, we usually become a little weak in front of our kids, and at times give in to their wants because of our emotional attachment towards them. its perfectly fine, but as parents we also need to prioritize what is essential for them and see to it that at any cost we don't compromise on it, as it will be an added boom to their future survival without us. 

When I'm a little stern about my children's upbringing at times I do get to hear a few harsh and negative words, but I don't allow it to affect my thought process for my children's upbringing. 

At this particular time what I realize the most is

  'How Difficult It Is To Be A Parent.'

 At the end of it, it is my faith that my today's hardship in my children's upbringing will surely pay off with the best of the results in their future.

Surprisingly Twins- Sarrah blog

The Entry Of Twins In My Life.

Today it so happened that my husband and his siblings had met after a very long time, as they have moved to different cities of different countries for career opportunities. My brother-in-law had invited us for lunch, although we stay just next door. One of my twins asked me if he could get ready and go. Giving him the permission I said let me get your jeans ready.

Well, I thought that was the end of our conversation, and I started to do the needful. But I was wrong. Instantly he popped another question at me, “mummy how do you come to know what I want?” to which on a lighter note I replied to him “because I’m your mummy.”

From his expressions, I could make out my answer was not satisfactory to him. Just to get him in confidence I asked him to gather his brothers as I need to tell them something. I then narrated to my kids one most important day of my life and tried to make them understand how the mother inside me tells me what is right for them.

 

It all started when I had already conceived but the doctor’s visit was still pending. I had some feeling inside me saying “Sarrah it’s two.” At that time I was in UAE with my husband. In the evening when he returned from work I gave him the good news over the dinner that he will be a father soon but, I think it’s two inside my stomach. My husband who was happy but with a doubt asked what made me feel like that. I tried to explain to him but it failed because I couldn't express or explain what made me so sure of double pregnancy. He asked me not to overthink, but I wasn't overthinking at all. All I could tell him was to visit the gynecologist soon and confirm the pregnancy.

The next day being his weekly off we went visiting a gynecologist for the pregnancy test. It was positive. Doctor asked us to get my first sonography done, and it showed her dual pregnancy.

With a pleasant smile on her face, the doctor congratulated me and said its dual pregnancy, nothing to worry or get tensed. I thanked her in return and said somehow I knew it’s twins but she needs to confirm it to my husband standing out. 

The doctor was surprised to my statement, how come I knew it's dual pregnancy, and ended up asking me if I had got myself tested elsewhere. I said no just the inner feeling. With a smiling ‘okay’ she called out to my husband who was standing out and waiting eagerly for me. When the gynecologist confirmed dual pregnancy to my husband he was in a complete state of shock. All that I could see is mixed expressions on his face. The doctor showed him the sonography video and pointed out the two eggs that could be seen.

That was the start of it and it continues till now when my twines are 10 years. I somehow know their 

needs.

After I finished telling them this incident all that I was left with was “mummy how do you come to know what we need?”

When I was young and my mother fulfilled my requirements without me telling her anything I also used to wonder, is she some superwoman or mind reader that she knows what I require. Even I must have troubled her with many of my whys and hows. She too must have tried to give me satisfactory answers which must have gone into the drain.

But now when I’m a mother myself I have got my answers and so will my kids when they become fathers(Ameen).

P. S. I have used little different words but with the same

feelings while narrating it to my children.

Father's Unexpressed Love- Sarrah Blog

Story Of A Cap

Being born and brought up in a typical Indian culture of the 1980s and 1990s, I always thought it's difficult for a father to express his love for his children by words and actions. 

This particular incident of my life changed my perspective towards my father's unexpressed love towards me.

To start with, this cap is made by me in my first attempt to knit a cap during my engagement period. I was engaged in June 2007 and was to marry in December 2007. My father’s birthday comes in October. I decided to give him a memorable gift, as I will be celebrating my father’s birthday at his home before my marriage. With a lot of gift items to select from, keeping in mind about my father's likes and dislikes. It was very difficult to make a decision.

 I wanted to give him something special. So I decided to make him a cap. This idea struck my mind when someone told me "Sarrah since you love crochet why don't you try knitting something useful and full of love and emotions for your father." 

Just for everyone's information, Dawoodi Bohra men wear a starched white cotton thread cap with golden zari thread. This golden zari thread is made of thin wire. The stitches must be tightly weaved compared to normal crochet work to make the cap stiff. Both the threads are knitted simultaneously to give it a design.

I inquired with my father about his choice of design, to which he replied, "as you wish."

As a daughter, I knew he would prefer the simple design and, I started my hard work.

Since I had started in July 2007 I was quite sure he would be able to wear it in the holy month of Ramadan which was in September 2007 then. In those days I was teaching in a school. So, in the morning I would go to work and at night I would sit to complete my crochet. In Ramadan, the important nights (Fazil Raat) were nearing and I too geared up, and at last, I finished knitting the cap on time.

I was very excited to see my father wearing my hand made gift. But, no he wore his old cap. I relaxed my self-thinking, after the holy month ends next day will be Eid and I waited eagerly for this Eid. My last at my parent's place and I will see my father in my hand made cap. But, no again he wore his old cap.

Again I thought to myself his birthday is appearing in October maybe then, again I got disappointed, you are right he wore his old cap. I felt like crying. But still, I looked forward to my marriage's Hussaini Majlis (A religious gathering). That was the last Majlis in my parent's place in Lucknow in November. During the gathering, he wore his old cap. That's when I lost all hope and thought 'should I ask him? Didn't he like the cap?' But I never had the heart to say anything.

For my marriage, we traveled to Mumbai for the preparation for my wedding. Staying at my Aunt’s place. I remember my aunt asking my father about his preparations in context to his attire, and he replied "yes it's ready."

In the Nikah ceremony (marriages) father usually wears a golden color turban.

My father had prepared all the clothes but he had not got his golden turban so I was confused about how come he said his clothes are ready. I asked my mother about it and she replied he will manage, don’t worry.

My wedding ceremonies started with functions of:-

Haldi i.e., Relatives of the bride and groom apply a special preparation of turmeric to the bride and groom in their respective homes.

Mehndi i.e., all the female members of the bridegroom family including the bride applies henna on their hands and legs.

Gol Sharbat or Mitthu- Muh is a celebration among close family members to shower their blessings on the couple. Somewhere in my heart I wished my father would wear my hand made cap but no, he didn't.

On my nikah day, my father was dressed in a simple kurta pajama. While sitting in the car together, traveling to the venue, I was in tears. Just like any other bride would be. You know these are probably your last few moments with your parents.

Just an imagination, a father like mine who usually don't express their unconditional love for their kids must be hugging their daughter on the nikah day and crying immensely.

In my case it was different.

How?

In the above paragraph, I have mentioned that in our Dawoodi Bohra community father's wear a golden turban. But, my father wore my handmade crochet cap.

It's been over a decade now since I'm married. Many caps he has changed but this one still remains with him.

That's my father's love for me.

Never expressed in words, only once expressed by action and that will last forever.

Mom Stories - Sarrah Blog

When I was a kid and did any sort of mischief, my grandmother would end up saying "when you will have children you will learn the lesson." It's been more than nine years of my motherhood and I'm just trying to figure out, which lesson she was talking about because I have learned many lessons till now.

With my 1st pregnancy and that too twin, initially, I was very excited but once I reached my sixth month and looked like nine months pregnant, all difficulties started to pop up in sitting, standing, etc. I started thinking, when will these two come out so I can be at little peace. That's when I got an advice from my friend.

Sarrah with each passing phase of motherhood you will feel that the previous phase was so easy and since you are finding the current phase difficult you will wish when will your kids grow up. Just accept the current phase and go with the flow.

In my mind, I was thinking "she has just one child and I'm pregnant with two" Well when these two gentlemen came out, I realized what my friend had said was right; be it one or two how does it matter? 😂
When we have children one after the other, I guess it's much easier to solve their arguments among them by saying son you are big you understand or you are small so you say sorry.

At my place, we exactly have a court of justice, with a judge that is me, culprit that is my one child, victim my another child, an eye witness my third child. Victims and the culprit play the roles of lawyers too. After a long session of hearing.......... Of course the judgment.........and that's how the problem is solved to an extent. Yes, I have three children now! 

Parenting is one role that is full of responsibilities. As a mother, we are expected to be perfect with everything related to our children. We are expected to pull off the roles of teacher, nurse, cook, driver, etc. with perfection without the realization that we are also humans and we too can make mistakes. This gradually leads to an unwanted burden on us. We do not realize this makes our mind, body, and soul weak. We lose the ability to make correct decisions for ourselves and our children. We forget to love and live for ourselves.

I can not deny the fact that one will give only what he or she has. In our busy lives, we should learn to love ourselves, so that, we are not dependent on anyone's love and we can easily pass on this love to our children.