Gifts by God - Sarrah blog

Just a thought that came into my mind and I want to share.

With the first day of our existence in this world,

we all have been granted many gifts from Allah.

Gifts like beauty, intelligence, common sense, good health, 

good digestive system, and our 5 senses,

i.e., the ability to feel, see, smell, hear, and taste to name among the few.

You all will agree that everyone is not so lucky. Many times people say "I don't like this food" or use other negative words or even if you force too much then they will throw it in the bin. We don't realize that we are among the gifted ones to eat everything halal food (food permissible to consume as per Islam).

You should ask those people who love desserts but are diabetic, those people who are fond of food but are having a cholesterol or other heart disease. There are a few vegetables and fruits that I don't like to eat, but I just say Alhumdolilla(thanks to Allah) and pretend to be my favorite as I want to teach my children not to refuse any halal food that is served to them.

Times are changing so, should we? The answer is yes. As a mother, I would love to see my kids always around me even when they become an adult. but, who knows for their career and survival they might migrate to which part of the earth. maybe as parents, we are not able to accompany them, the initial stage they will have to survive without us. 

As parents, we usually become a little weak in front of our kids, and at times give in to their wants because of our emotional attachment towards them. its perfectly fine, but as parents we also need to prioritize what is essential for them and see to it that at any cost we don't compromise on it, as it will be an added boom to their future survival without us. 

When I'm a little stern about my children's upbringing at times I do get to hear a few harsh and negative words, but I don't allow it to affect my thought process for my children's upbringing. 

At this particular time what I realize the most is

  'How Difficult It Is To Be A Parent.'

 At the end of it, it is my faith that my today's hardship in my children's upbringing will surely pay off with the best of the results in their future.

Women Empowerment and Her Periods.

Periods:- Your body's monthly visitor.  But no matter how many times that visitor stops by,  menstruation /periods remain a taboo topic around the globe.

Few days back I came across this particular video which conveyed a message that we women no more be ashamed of saying and accepting that we get our periods every month.

As a matter of fact, many women who are in their periods are not allowed to be in the kitchen or attend ritual practices, according to a 2016 Hindustan Times.

According to The Wire, many don't believe periods to be natural, while others consider them dirty.

This reminds me of my personal experience that I'm sharing with you all. Somewhere in the early 1990's. When I was about to get my periods for the first time or should I say that my mother felt the need to educate me about periods, that I too will be facing in the near future, she (my mother) took the help of my father. As she knew that with the word bleeding, I would panic. As we all say that a father is the super hero for her daughter it kind of was the same for me too at that time. My father said don't worry it won't pain and we are there with you, it's no big deal. Innocent me, I trusted him then, I thought it ended there but, then my mother's words followed "don't tell anyone. Okay?" Although I didn't understand what was the reason then but, as an obedient child I said "okay." Soon the day came, I got my first period. 

People who menstruate have long been taught to be ashamed of or keep silent about their periods. 

My dadi who was then 70+ years (father's mother) stayed with us, she was a witness to this situation. My dadi was the eldest among her siblings and even bed ridden, that's why her brothers and sisters with their entire family often visited us. You can say a full family get-together of 20-25 people in our house. She was witness to my mom's words as well "don't tell anyone" Still there came an announcement from her adjusting her dupatta pallu (Stole) over her head "Listen everyone I want you all to know that my youngest granddaughter (pointing towards me) has started getting her periods!" I was stunned and confused as everyone started looking at me, probably for two reasons, one was it a co-incidence that I was standing in the middle or is it the announcement that made me the centre of attention? Later, I realized people are congratulating us. This whole situation for me at that age was so very difficult to understand. 

Somewhere in the later part of the day I asked my dadi "why did you make that announcement? Mummy had asked me not to tell anyone anything about it." She replied like a typical mother-in-law "Oh your mother doesn't know anything. It is definitely time to celebrate as, you have stepped into the process of turning into a woman from a small girl."

Although I only understood her words but today, I realized the importance of her words. She was a woman who was much more modernized in her thoughts as per her age and era. 

Globally, the stigma of menstruation is perpetrated by the cultural taboos, discrimination, lack of education, silence and period poverty (the inability to get access to/afford feminine hygiene products). 

Sometimes I wonder if my dadi would have been alive today, she would definitely be a role model for modernization and women empowerment. 

Being a mother to sons, I have made up my mind to educate them about menstruation with same modernization so that the future generations are no longer taught to be ashamed of or keep silent about menstruation/periods or what ever you name it. 

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Surprisingly Twins- Sarrah blog

The Entry Of Twins In My Life.

Today it so happened that my husband and his siblings had met after a very long time, as they have moved to different cities of different countries for career opportunities. My brother-in-law had invited us for lunch, although we stay just next door. One of my twins asked me if he could get ready and go. Giving him the permission I said let me get your jeans ready.

Well, I thought that was the end of our conversation, and I started to do the needful. But I was wrong. Instantly he popped another question at me, “mummy how do you come to know what I want?” to which on a lighter note I replied to him “because I’m your mummy.”

From his expressions, I could make out my answer was not satisfactory to him. Just to get him in confidence I asked him to gather his brothers as I need to tell them something. I then narrated to my kids one most important day of my life and tried to make them understand how the mother inside me tells me what is right for them.

 

It all started when I had already conceived but the doctor’s visit was still pending. I had some feeling inside me saying “Sarrah it’s two.” At that time I was in UAE with my husband. In the evening when he returned from work I gave him the good news over the dinner that he will be a father soon but, I think it’s two inside my stomach. My husband who was happy but with a doubt asked what made me feel like that. I tried to explain to him but it failed because I couldn't express or explain what made me so sure of double pregnancy. He asked me not to overthink, but I wasn't overthinking at all. All I could tell him was to visit the gynecologist soon and confirm the pregnancy.

The next day being his weekly off we went visiting a gynecologist for the pregnancy test. It was positive. Doctor asked us to get my first sonography done, and it showed her dual pregnancy.

With a pleasant smile on her face, the doctor congratulated me and said its dual pregnancy, nothing to worry or get tensed. I thanked her in return and said somehow I knew it’s twins but she needs to confirm it to my husband standing out. 

The doctor was surprised to my statement, how come I knew it's dual pregnancy, and ended up asking me if I had got myself tested elsewhere. I said no just the inner feeling. With a smiling ‘okay’ she called out to my husband who was standing out and waiting eagerly for me. When the gynecologist confirmed dual pregnancy to my husband he was in a complete state of shock. All that I could see is mixed expressions on his face. The doctor showed him the sonography video and pointed out the two eggs that could be seen.

That was the start of it and it continues till now when my twines are 10 years. I somehow know their 

needs.

After I finished telling them this incident all that I was left with was “mummy how do you come to know what we need?”

When I was young and my mother fulfilled my requirements without me telling her anything I also used to wonder, is she some superwoman or mind reader that she knows what I require. Even I must have troubled her with many of my whys and hows. She too must have tried to give me satisfactory answers which must have gone into the drain.

But now when I’m a mother myself I have got my answers and so will my kids when they become fathers(Ameen).

P. S. I have used little different words but with the same

feelings while narrating it to my children.

Think Outside The Box - Sarrah blog

On-road, with my younger son, we saw a hoarding 'Patels'. And my then 6-year-old now 7, read it as 'Petals'. Being a mother I immediately corrected his mistake by saying "it's Patels and not petals." I thought the conversation would end there, but it didn't. I got an instant question back, "What's the difference?" I answered him back by saying Patel is a surname or a family name and petal is a part of a flower. My son asked "which flower?" I said "any flower." To that my son said, "Okay but what is the difference?" That note made me anxious, for a simple reason that I knew my answer was clear and precise. I repeated my answer. He asked the same question "what's the difference?"

Usually, parents purchase some time from their kids by saying "I will answer you later " either because they are busy or they don't know the answer. In my case, I knew the answer but didn't know how to explain the same. I had no option, but to distract his mind and get talking with another topic.

We reached home and little did the time pass, again I was shot back with the same question, "what's the difference between Patel's and petals?" I abruptly repeated the answer, that's when one of my older sons said, "mummy it's just the placement of an A and E."

That's when I understood that, what we have learned in our lives is correct but what our children are exploring is much more the worth.

We as adults are so much use to the difference of right and wrong that we have limited ourselves to it. We hardly try to think outside the box and analyze what our younger generation requires. Fortunately, the younger generation is much smarter than we think. They can think out of the box and achieve their goals. All that they need is their parent's support. When we fail to do the same, this is probably what I call the generation gap. 

Mom Stories - Sarrah Blog

When I was a kid and did any sort of mischief, my grandmother would end up saying "when you will have children you will learn the lesson." It's been more than nine years of my motherhood and I'm just trying to figure out, which lesson she was talking about because I have learned many lessons till now.

With my 1st pregnancy and that too twin, initially, I was very excited but once I reached my sixth month and looked like nine months pregnant, all difficulties started to pop up in sitting, standing, etc. I started thinking, when will these two come out so I can be at little peace. That's when I got an advice from my friend.

Sarrah with each passing phase of motherhood you will feel that the previous phase was so easy and since you are finding the current phase difficult you will wish when will your kids grow up. Just accept the current phase and go with the flow.

In my mind, I was thinking "she has just one child and I'm pregnant with two" Well when these two gentlemen came out, I realized what my friend had said was right; be it one or two how does it matter? 😂
When we have children one after the other, I guess it's much easier to solve their arguments among them by saying son you are big you understand or you are small so you say sorry.

At my place, we exactly have a court of justice, with a judge that is me, culprit that is my one child, victim my another child, an eye witness my third child. Victims and the culprit play the roles of lawyers too. After a long session of hearing.......... Of course the judgment.........and that's how the problem is solved to an extent. Yes, I have three children now! 

Parenting is one role that is full of responsibilities. As a mother, we are expected to be perfect with everything related to our children. We are expected to pull off the roles of teacher, nurse, cook, driver, etc. with perfection without the realization that we are also humans and we too can make mistakes. This gradually leads to an unwanted burden on us. We do not realize this makes our mind, body, and soul weak. We lose the ability to make correct decisions for ourselves and our children. We forget to love and live for ourselves.

I can not deny the fact that one will give only what he or she has. In our busy lives, we should learn to love ourselves, so that, we are not dependent on anyone's love and we can easily pass on this love to our children.