Women Empowerment and Her Periods.

Periods:- Your body's monthly visitor.  But no matter how many times that visitor stops by,  menstruation /periods remain a taboo topic around the globe.

Few days back I came across this particular video which conveyed a message that we women no more be ashamed of saying and accepting that we get our periods every month.

As a matter of fact, many women who are in their periods are not allowed to be in the kitchen or attend ritual practices, according to a 2016 Hindustan Times.

According to The Wire, many don't believe periods to be natural, while others consider them dirty.

This reminds me of my personal experience that I'm sharing with you all. Somewhere in the early 1990's. When I was about to get my periods for the first time or should I say that my mother felt the need to educate me about periods, that I too will be facing in the near future, she (my mother) took the help of my father. As she knew that with the word bleeding, I would panic. As we all say that a father is the super hero for her daughter it kind of was the same for me too at that time. My father said don't worry it won't pain and we are there with you, it's no big deal. Innocent me, I trusted him then, I thought it ended there but, then my mother's words followed "don't tell anyone. Okay?" Although I didn't understand what was the reason then but, as an obedient child I said "okay." Soon the day came, I got my first period. 

People who menstruate have long been taught to be ashamed of or keep silent about their periods. 

My dadi who was then 70+ years (father's mother) stayed with us, she was a witness to this situation. My dadi was the eldest among her siblings and even bed ridden, that's why her brothers and sisters with their entire family often visited us. You can say a full family get-together of 20-25 people in our house. She was witness to my mom's words as well "don't tell anyone" Still there came an announcement from her adjusting her dupatta pallu (Stole) over her head "Listen everyone I want you all to know that my youngest granddaughter (pointing towards me) has started getting her periods!" I was stunned and confused as everyone started looking at me, probably for two reasons, one was it a co-incidence that I was standing in the middle or is it the announcement that made me the centre of attention? Later, I realized people are congratulating us. This whole situation for me at that age was so very difficult to understand. 

Somewhere in the later part of the day I asked my dadi "why did you make that announcement? Mummy had asked me not to tell anyone anything about it." She replied like a typical mother-in-law "Oh your mother doesn't know anything. It is definitely time to celebrate as, you have stepped into the process of turning into a woman from a small girl."

Although I only understood her words but today, I realized the importance of her words. She was a woman who was much more modernized in her thoughts as per her age and era. 

Globally, the stigma of menstruation is perpetrated by the cultural taboos, discrimination, lack of education, silence and period poverty (the inability to get access to/afford feminine hygiene products). 

Sometimes I wonder if my dadi would have been alive today, she would definitely be a role model for modernization and women empowerment. 

Being a mother to sons, I have made up my mind to educate them about menstruation with same modernization so that the future generations are no longer taught to be ashamed of or keep silent about menstruation/periods or what ever you name it. 

https://sarrahblog.blogspot.com/

Father's Unexpressed Love- Sarrah Blog

Story Of A Cap

Being born and brought up in a typical Indian culture of the 1980s and 1990s, I always thought it's difficult for a father to express his love for his children by words and actions. 

This particular incident of my life changed my perspective towards my father's unexpressed love towards me.

To start with, this cap is made by me in my first attempt to knit a cap during my engagement period. I was engaged in June 2007 and was to marry in December 2007. My father’s birthday comes in October. I decided to give him a memorable gift, as I will be celebrating my father’s birthday at his home before my marriage. With a lot of gift items to select from, keeping in mind about my father's likes and dislikes. It was very difficult to make a decision.

 I wanted to give him something special. So I decided to make him a cap. This idea struck my mind when someone told me "Sarrah since you love crochet why don't you try knitting something useful and full of love and emotions for your father." 

Just for everyone's information, Dawoodi Bohra men wear a starched white cotton thread cap with golden zari thread. This golden zari thread is made of thin wire. The stitches must be tightly weaved compared to normal crochet work to make the cap stiff. Both the threads are knitted simultaneously to give it a design.

I inquired with my father about his choice of design, to which he replied, "as you wish."

As a daughter, I knew he would prefer the simple design and, I started my hard work.

Since I had started in July 2007 I was quite sure he would be able to wear it in the holy month of Ramadan which was in September 2007 then. In those days I was teaching in a school. So, in the morning I would go to work and at night I would sit to complete my crochet. In Ramadan, the important nights (Fazil Raat) were nearing and I too geared up, and at last, I finished knitting the cap on time.

I was very excited to see my father wearing my hand made gift. But, no he wore his old cap. I relaxed my self-thinking, after the holy month ends next day will be Eid and I waited eagerly for this Eid. My last at my parent's place and I will see my father in my hand made cap. But, no again he wore his old cap.

Again I thought to myself his birthday is appearing in October maybe then, again I got disappointed, you are right he wore his old cap. I felt like crying. But still, I looked forward to my marriage's Hussaini Majlis (A religious gathering). That was the last Majlis in my parent's place in Lucknow in November. During the gathering, he wore his old cap. That's when I lost all hope and thought 'should I ask him? Didn't he like the cap?' But I never had the heart to say anything.

For my marriage, we traveled to Mumbai for the preparation for my wedding. Staying at my Aunt’s place. I remember my aunt asking my father about his preparations in context to his attire, and he replied "yes it's ready."

In the Nikah ceremony (marriages) father usually wears a golden color turban.

My father had prepared all the clothes but he had not got his golden turban so I was confused about how come he said his clothes are ready. I asked my mother about it and she replied he will manage, don’t worry.

My wedding ceremonies started with functions of:-

Haldi i.e., Relatives of the bride and groom apply a special preparation of turmeric to the bride and groom in their respective homes.

Mehndi i.e., all the female members of the bridegroom family including the bride applies henna on their hands and legs.

Gol Sharbat or Mitthu- Muh is a celebration among close family members to shower their blessings on the couple. Somewhere in my heart I wished my father would wear my hand made cap but no, he didn't.

On my nikah day, my father was dressed in a simple kurta pajama. While sitting in the car together, traveling to the venue, I was in tears. Just like any other bride would be. You know these are probably your last few moments with your parents.

Just an imagination, a father like mine who usually don't express their unconditional love for their kids must be hugging their daughter on the nikah day and crying immensely.

In my case it was different.

How?

In the above paragraph, I have mentioned that in our Dawoodi Bohra community father's wear a golden turban. But, my father wore my handmade crochet cap.

It's been over a decade now since I'm married. Many caps he has changed but this one still remains with him.

That's my father's love for me.

Never expressed in words, only once expressed by action and that will last forever.