Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin and I.

Although I'm born in a Dawoodi Bohra family I never had the surrounding of ardent believers of our then Syedna, Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin (Radi Allah).

For a Dawoodi Bohra Muslim community Syedna is as equally important to them, as that of a Pope is important to the Christians.

When I was in my early twenties I was staying with my maternal aunt and uncle. That's when I first time shared my desire to see our then Syedna, any news from anywhere about Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin arriving to my city my aunt and I would just try to run to that place to see his glimpse. I stayed with my aunt and uncle for four years but with no chance of seeing him. Then I moved back to my parents house in another city. In approximately 2-3 years I got married and migrated to another country. My desire to see him atleast once was still incomplete. Many a times I would hear my relatives and Dawoodi Bohra Muslim friends sharing their experience of seeing and meeting our late Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin, deep down my heart I would just question myself, why I never got a chance yet? Will I ever see him? 

After my marriage one afternoon I fell asleep. Usually I don't sleep in the afternoon. But that particular afternoon I did. I had a dream that I'm standing in a crowded market, I'm pregnant. All of a sudden there is a chaos as Syeda Mohammed Burhanuddinis to pass by the area. I try to look out for him but I get pushed to the floor. All I see is his back. Suddenly one man I see standing in front of me saying syedna wants to meet you. I'm baffled. And tell that man I have no clue where to, he says just follow me. Next I see myself in a huge white room and in front is my syedna Mohammed burhanuddin. I walk up to him and sit right below his feet. He asked me what is the problem I am facing? A little amazed I confirmed with him problem?  He says yes. I replied back with you and Moula Ali I can't face any problem. He smiled at me and my eyes opened. For sometime I just kept on wondering what actually happened with me! After a few days I got to know I'm pregnant for the first time. My happiness had no boundaries. But it didn't last long and I went through a miscarriage. That's when I realized that my Syedna had come to warn me about this difficult situation I was about to encounter. But my answer to him that you and Moula Ali around me, I'm blessed with twin boys, who are now 10 years old. That is the time when I became an ardent believer of Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin.

When I was  in my early teens my father got me a permalian dog because I was being a little stubborn about it. And after I got married my parents shifted him to our ancestral house. That house was once such a place where my paternal grandparents would regularly conduct religious gathering. Approximately two years had passed by from the time I  first saw syedna Mohammed burhanuddin in my dreams, and I had another dream. I see myself cleaning and scrubbing my ancestral house, my clothes are a total mess. All of a sudden door bell rings, I open the door and see it is syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin at the door. My happiness has no boundaries. Even though I am not dressed in clean clothes he allowed me to catch his hand and greet him. I welcome him inside and I'm just not letting his hand go off my hand. It's then he says, I have a surprise for you waiting down, why don't you just go and have a look. I am astonished! A surprise! For me! I am hardly bothered to wear my foot wear and I rush down my house to see what is the surprise. Oh it was an unexpected surprise! I see his father Syedna Taher Saifuddin standing there. I greet him and bring him to my house. In one room of my ancestral home 51st and 52nd syedna are sitting. Wow what a blessing. When my eyes open again I'm confused with what I saw in my dreams and more importantly, why did I see this dream? 

Alas my questions were answered in a few days. The dog that I had, soon passed away. Basically being a Muslim it is not allowed for us to keep a dog as a pet. 

Few years passed by and I became a mother of 3 boys. And I migrated back to my home town. That year syedna Mohammed burhanuddin had conducted all the mohrram majlis in my city. Co-incidently my younger cousin brother was helping the members in controlling the crowed. Over the call I told my brother if he could help me in seeing syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin. He asked me to travel around 40-45 Kms from my house and meet him at one point and he would take care of the rest. I caught hold of my children who were just 2 years and 5 years and rushed to the point where my brother had asked me to meet him. It was something 3pm then. He arranged for me and my children a seating area which was like a balcony opposite to the masjid where as per the schedule syedna Mohammed burhanuddin would pray his evening prayers. I had milk and snacks in my huge bag along with diapers and extra pair of clothes so we could survive and stick to that place for 5 hours. Yes! At 8pm I saw my Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin. That was the day my deep desire to see him was accomplished. 

Few days passed by and Dawoodi Bohra Muslim heard his demise. At the back of my mind I just had one thought, all these years he was aware of my desire to meet him, see him, that's why he opened all doors of possibilities in his last days of life on earth and made my travelling 40-45 Kms a cake walk. 

Being in the same city as where both 51st and 52nd syedna are resting, I have taken the opportunity to visit their holy shrine a number of times. With the pandemic of Covid -19 and total lockdown I started to realize what is missing in my life. Those 6-7 months I only waited for lock down to ease out as I wanted to visit their holy shrine. As soon as the government allowed to open places of worship, our community also started the process of entry pass allocations to visit the Holy shrines across the country. I too had applied for the pass. But the confirmation of the pass came after a month. One night prior before I could receive the confirmation, I had 2 dreams. First dream was all about being in total darkness and being surrounded by negative vibes. When I woke up it was approximately 2 and. I just thought to myself it's a bad dream, and I went off to sleep. Again I had a dream where I see myself surrounded with white and bright light a lot of positive vibes and a voice continuously saying, don't worry it will happen. As usual I didn't understand what I saw and why I saw. After my break fast I got the news that next day I am allocated a pass to visit the Holy shrine of both syedna. At last my wait was over and I was getting all set for the next day. Few hours later we came to know that there will be a complete lockdown For some protest against newly formed government rules. My complete family was uncomfortable with the fact that my pass is also for the same day. They tried to convince me not to go. But I just didn't listen to them and went ahead to visit the Holy shrine. On my way with 3 kids and back home I never felt any sort of insecurity because of the the ongoing protest. It seemed to be like a cake walk. And now I actually understood the meaning of my last dream and the voice was of my syedna Mohammed burhanuddin who was assuring me of my safety. 

Prostitution A Boon Or A Taboo?

It is no secret that prostitution is one of the oldest professions. The sex industry exists in every country, forming a substantial part of the underground economy, but this is one word or profession no one wants to talk about. 

Although today sex is seen in a more liberal light, it is still very much a taboo, especially in collectivistic cultures of developing and underdeveloped countries. Prostitutes are ostracized from society and have no access to social or economic security. Sad but true.

We fail to realize that any person, be it a male, female, or transgender who works as a prostitute, has not willingly accepted this profession. Physically and mentally, they have been forced to do so or by human trafficking. For many developing countries, prostitution is a major export industry and source of foreign earnings, a means of redistributing income on a global scale. For example, according to a 1998 Kyodo News report on South East Asia,

Between 1993 and 1995, it was estimated that prostitution in Thailand produced an annual income of between $22.5 billion and $27 billion.

I can recall an incident in my life. I was in college then, appearing for my graduation exams. The examination center had two routes one was a long route which was a market area and the other was a short route, which passed through Kamathipura, a red light area in Mumbai. One day I was running late for my exam, I asked the taxi driver to take the shorter route. The taxi driver was an old man, he replied, 'child, I cannot take you from that side, it's not a good area.'I had to insist and convince him that I will be late for my exam. Although reluctant, we passed through the area. That was the first time in my life that I saw an area that turns into a prostitution market from dusk to dawn. Looking around, I could only see females dressed in descent salwar kurta, doing their home cores, and children scattered around the area. Being a local, I knew I'm passing through a red light area, but for an outsider, it would portray to be a slum with shabby and old houses, drainage smelling awful, etc. 

Another encounter with a prostitute was a few years later, while we were returning back home after attending a family function late at night. I could see a few ladies standing on the footpath dressed in bright, revealing clothes and heavy make-up. That is when I got to know what is street prostitution. These ladies are ready to please their clients for a minimal amount of Indian Rs.150-180.

The Benefits of Legalizing Prostitution

• Legalizing the profession of prostitution does not mean to see a prostitute standing for business on every corner of a road. It would rather reduce the violence against prostitutes, more so for the women. They are vulnerable to violence from their customers, pimps, and madams. With prostitution legalized, their profession would escape the shadows of illegality and allow its workers to call the police. If still illegal, they would be too afraid to call any authority and their rape and murder count would continue to rise.
• Legalization would make prostitute life healthier. The pressure on them to forego condoms is a great health risk on a global level. If legal, its workers can get tested regularly for Syphilis, HIV, and aids and practice safer sex. 
• The benefits of legalizing prostitution extend further than to just those involved in the prostitution industry. Allowing brothels to operate legally and generate substantial revenue for the state, the situation for many prostitutes in countries that have made prostitution legal has vastly improved since the implementation of new reforms and regulations. The legalization of prostitution enforces compliance with labor laws by businesses in the prostitution industry.
• Brothels and prostitutes are the ones who have controlled the rate of rape cases in every country. Although there are many registered and unregistered rape cases all over the world, If there wouldn't have been a profession of prostitution, the crime rate in rape cases would be much larger.
• It is no hidden fact that the prostitution industry is well supported by drugs and intoxication. Countries that have legalized the profession of prostitution to an extend have managed to decrease the rotation of drugs and other substances of intoxication.
• Developed countries undoubtedly have many facilities to secure the health and well-being of prostitutes. They are well equipped with safety measures and health facilities. To be more precise, they are well equipped for the children of their country's sex workers. Coming to an underdeveloped or developing country, there are no proper medications for the prostitutes and their children.

Never under estimate your children.

It was 2018 in school they have distributed a form if children wanted to improve their skills and appear for extra exams. Each child who was willing to participate would clear their exams from school level to state level and appear for the national level. As they cleared each level if they scored really well in the top 50 ranks they would be honored with a trophy and other children would be given a certificate. My children had cleared the school level and state level too, and they were only given an A+ grade certificate. Whereas one girl was honored with a trophy as she had scored 45th rank on the state level from their school. One of my sons Hussain asked me what is the procedure to get the trophy? I as per my knowledge just said that you need to work hard and get really good marks to stand a place in the top 50 ranks to get the trophy, and that was the end of the conversation. 

National level exams were nearing and as a mother, I did my best to prepare my children for the same. For appearing the exam the examination center was approximately 30 km away from my residence. While traveling I insisted that they should revise their work. But they were more interested in enjoying the view on the road from the car window. I had no option but to ask myself to go with the flow. 

We reached the venue. Completed all the required formalities. It was time for the kids to go to their assigned classes. Before my children went, I reminded them I'm waiting down for them, they should be calm and wished them all the best. It was 1-hour paper. My son Hussain who had inquired about how to get a trophy was out of his classroom with me in the next 30 minutes. To be franker, as I saw him getting down the stairs all that I thought was, no problem even if he fails, at least he was among those few kids who appeared for the national level. And my other kids came down after their time was over. As we sat in the car to return back home I was inquiring with my children what all was asked in the questionnaire. They were quite excited to tell me that the exam was very easy for them. But my main concern was, did they appear all the questions or not. I just kept it as a light chit chat with them on the way. 

A few weeks later I received a message from the exam organizers that two of my children have received an A+ grade. There was nowhere Hussain's name mentioned. The first thought that came to my mind was, oh no Hussain has failed and that's why in the message they have not mentioned his name. Few minutes passed and I received another message from the exam organizers mentioning that my Hussain has ranked 4th in the national level examination. I could hardly believe my eyes, I read the message at least 2-3 times to confirm what I was reading was actual or just my imagination.

My happiness had no boundaries that day. Throughout my education life, I had been an average student. For me to get trophy was just a dream, and that dream came true when my son achieved it. At the same time, I felt a little guilty as well. I underestimated him. In my place, any other person might have done the same. My instant action was to grab him, hug him tight, and kiss him. I couldn't control my tears of happiness. 

That was one moment where my son taught me a lesson for my life, that I as a parent should never underestimate my kids what may come. In 2019 my son Hussain earned another trophy on the national level for securing the 5th rank. 

 As parents, we need to be confident about our children, trust them in what they want to do and be. but side by side also be a guide and friend to them, help them if they are stuck somewhere in their life.

soul connection

HAVE YOU FELT CLOSE TO SOMEONE? 

SO CLOSE THAT YOU WONDER WHY YOU BOTH ARE IN TWO DIFFERENT BODIES? 

What is a Soulmate?

Soulmates culture would have us believe that a soulmate is the perfect romantic partner. While it's true that soulmates can make the best partners, the pairing isn’t necessarily intimate, romantic or sexual in nature. Soulmates can play any role in your life including family members, colleagues, schoolmates, neighbours, strangers and yes, lovers. A soulmate is a person whose soul has a strong connection to your soul. Soul mate connections can be described in one of three ways: soul families, soul groups and twin flames. These groups are like branches of a very large tree. The tree is Source/Spirit, and we are all part of it. That means your soulmates are actually you at a higher vibration. While in human form, we resonate more strongly with souls who are on the same branch due to our similarities and shared backgrounds. In truth, we are all soulmates, but those souls who are closest to us evoke the strongest soul memories.

Soul Family

Soul family is the spiritual equivalent to your birth family here on Earth. They may take the form of a relative here on Earth or could be anyone in your life. When you meet them, they feel like your siblings, parents or children. You and your soul family share the same over-soul, so you are all aspects of the same soul.

Purpose of a soul family is to love, nurture, support, guide, protect and help you. Soul family members help align you with your soul’s purpose and will accelerate your spiritual growth.

Duration of Soul family relationships has the greatest longevity. Of any relationship, this is the one that will last a lifetime (and beyond). The connection provides such amazing love and support, that no other relationship can surpass.

Soul Group

Whether you know it or not, you are a multidimensional being of staggering proportions. You are more than meets the eye, much more — more than your body, more than your soul, in fact, you are an integral part of the Universe. You are present on many levels of reality simultaneously and more powerful than you have ever imagined. Are you ready to expand your concept of selfhood to include higher selves, other/parallel selves, and probable selves? If so then, let’s dive in! A soul group is akin to your Earthly friends, classmates and coworkers. Soul group member meetings are often triggered by significant life events, or they act as a catalyst for major life changes.

Purpose of Your soul group members is working on the same life assignments as you so they have matching or complementary life themes. They come into your life to help you achieve a shared spiritual objective.

Due to the purpose-driven nature of these connections, these relationships may not last. No matter how short or long-lived, these encounters may be, they always serve a higher purpose.

As a child, my upbringing has been in terms of being clean at heart being humble towards others, learn to forgive, and all the positive things. When I was a teenager I learned about karma and soul. If we keep our karmas clean our soul will be happy. In late teens like any other normal teenager, there were some attractions and hormonal changes. At that time I used to think that it is love. But then eventually I realized I was falling in love with every Tom, Dick and Harry much later I considered it as infatuation or its just a crush. As a young adult, I was away from this and enjoyed focusing on earning some money.

 

In our life span, we come across many people and each one of them is present in our life for a reason. If they have done well to us they are our friends if they have done bad to us they have indirectly done well to us as we learn from our experience.

In our Indian culture, we women are brainwashed with that our groom or a prince will come in our life, marry us, love us eternal and we will be happy ever after. 

Somewhere in the year 2018, I received a gift, two books written by Dr Brian Weiss, a psychiatrist by profession and past life regression therapist. While reading his work my subconscious mind provoked my question of how to find out my soulmate. Although I'm very reluctant to get myself hypnotized to find my answer I'm sure one day I will find the answer. It may be my current life husband, or maybe someone else. But I'm very confident that there is someone. 

Over the years I have learnt and realized that our soul family is divided into three categories,  part one includes our grandparents, parents, siblings, our relatives by blood and children. Part two includes our spouse whom we choose to give our wows to and our true friends who have entered our life with a blink, all of a sudden and accompanied us in the ups and downs of our life. The third part is our soulmate or I should say our twin flame our other half, our better half or the prince/princess of our dreams. In the 5D world or spiritual world when the soul is split in two and enters the 3D world or materialistic world it's called twin flames. We may be continents apart but we will surely cross paths in our every lifetime. With every lifetime the roles of our soul family will change. My present lifetime children may have been my grandparents in a previous life. But my twin flame will always remain my twin flame in every lifetime. We may not talk to each other for long periods, we may be committed to our spouse and family, but we will connect with each other just like an electromagnetic wave in the spiritual world. 

What is a twin flame? 

A twin flame is a very special soulmate connection. You share the same immediate over-soul. To create polarity consciousness on 3-D Earth, your over-soul chose two separate expressions of itself, one male and one female, each perfectly balanced and complementary to the other. The two soul aspects may incarnate together, or one may remain on the Other Side (next dimensional level) while the other descends into this level of consciousness. You and your twin flame are perfectly complementary, like two sides of the same coin. These two individuals, possessing the same soul, are intuitively aware of each other, and spend a lifetime looking for the other.

The purpose of your twin flame is to guide and ballast, giving you both direction and balance while you are here in physical form. For instance, if you are female, or embody female characteristics, then your twin flame is comprised of male characteristics. You are perfect expressions of yin-yang energies. Your twin will push and pull you through learning curves. A meeting with your twin here on Earth would profoundly accelerate your spiritual growth.

What are the connection and the chances of the meeting?

The soul is multidimensional and therefore has multiple twin flames; however, the portion of your soul that is incarnated here has only one twin flame.

It used to be rare to have both halves of the over-soul incarnated here on Earth at the same time, but that’s changing. With our imminent expansion of consciousness into 5D, more twin flames are choosing to reunite here on Earth. Still, the chance of meeting your twin flame is slim. That doesn’t mean you can’t connect with your twin flame via spiritual methods.


Relationship with your twin flame:-
You cannot hide anything from your twin flame. All aspects of your being, both light and dark, are transparent to your twin. That means anything that isn’t resolved, healed or in balance will rise to the surface when you’re together. This can be overwhelmingly intense if you haven’t worked through your issues before meeting your twin. That’s why most twins have chosen not to incarnate together.

Duration:-
The twin flame connection transcends this Earthly realm and is therefore absolutely permanent. That being said, twin flame relationships here on Earth do not always last due to the intensity of the bond and the yin-yang nature of your two souls. The duration, therefore, depends greatly on timing and soul preparation.

Other relationships may involve seeking your twin flame, who may or may not be here in this incarnation. A twin flame is literally the other half of your soul that makes you whole, yet at the same time, each twin flame is a complete soul. They form a complete balance of the male and female energies. Your previous relationships were also soul contracts to help you prepare to be with your twin flame. When you meet your twin flame, you’ll know it immediately.


Some twin flames aren’t here in this incarnation. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get married or have children because your twin flame (in the ethereal realms) wants you to experience everything that can bring you joy and happiness in this incarnation, as well as to learn as many life lessons to help your spiritual growth. He or she is still part of your soul group but decided not to join you in this incarnation. Don’t take it personally! They’re still with you in heart and in spirit.
It’s also important to remember that some twin flames remain on the other side to provide you with help and spiritual guidence. Some souls decided to come here without them because they “heard the call” and they knew they were needed here in this incarnation. Please keep in mind that not everyone from your soul group will incarnate at the same time!

Gifts by God - Sarrah blog

Just a thought that came into my mind and I want to share.

With the first day of our existence in this world,

we all have been granted many gifts from Allah.

Gifts like beauty, intelligence, common sense, good health, 

good digestive system, and our 5 senses,

i.e., the ability to feel, see, smell, hear, and taste to name among the few.

You all will agree that everyone is not so lucky. Many times people say "I don't like this food" or use other negative words or even if you force too much then they will throw it in the bin. We don't realize that we are among the gifted ones to eat everything halal food (food permissible to consume as per Islam).

You should ask those people who love desserts but are diabetic, those people who are fond of food but are having a cholesterol or other heart disease. There are a few vegetables and fruits that I don't like to eat, but I just say Alhumdolilla(thanks to Allah) and pretend to be my favorite as I want to teach my children not to refuse any halal food that is served to them.

Times are changing so, should we? The answer is yes. As a mother, I would love to see my kids always around me even when they become an adult. but, who knows for their career and survival they might migrate to which part of the earth. maybe as parents, we are not able to accompany them, the initial stage they will have to survive without us. 

As parents, we usually become a little weak in front of our kids, and at times give in to their wants because of our emotional attachment towards them. its perfectly fine, but as parents we also need to prioritize what is essential for them and see to it that at any cost we don't compromise on it, as it will be an added boom to their future survival without us. 

When I'm a little stern about my children's upbringing at times I do get to hear a few harsh and negative words, but I don't allow it to affect my thought process for my children's upbringing. 

At this particular time what I realize the most is

  'How Difficult It Is To Be A Parent.'

 At the end of it, it is my faith that my today's hardship in my children's upbringing will surely pay off with the best of the results in their future.

Women Empowerment and Her Periods.

Periods:- Your body's monthly visitor.  But no matter how many times that visitor stops by,  menstruation /periods remain a taboo topic around the globe.

Few days back I came across this particular video which conveyed a message that we women no more be ashamed of saying and accepting that we get our periods every month.

As a matter of fact, many women who are in their periods are not allowed to be in the kitchen or attend ritual practices, according to a 2016 Hindustan Times.

According to The Wire, many don't believe periods to be natural, while others consider them dirty.

This reminds me of my personal experience that I'm sharing with you all. Somewhere in the early 1990's. When I was about to get my periods for the first time or should I say that my mother felt the need to educate me about periods, that I too will be facing in the near future, she (my mother) took the help of my father. As she knew that with the word bleeding, I would panic. As we all say that a father is the super hero for her daughter it kind of was the same for me too at that time. My father said don't worry it won't pain and we are there with you, it's no big deal. Innocent me, I trusted him then, I thought it ended there but, then my mother's words followed "don't tell anyone. Okay?" Although I didn't understand what was the reason then but, as an obedient child I said "okay." Soon the day came, I got my first period. 

People who menstruate have long been taught to be ashamed of or keep silent about their periods. 

My dadi who was then 70+ years (father's mother) stayed with us, she was a witness to this situation. My dadi was the eldest among her siblings and even bed ridden, that's why her brothers and sisters with their entire family often visited us. You can say a full family get-together of 20-25 people in our house. She was witness to my mom's words as well "don't tell anyone" Still there came an announcement from her adjusting her dupatta pallu (Stole) over her head "Listen everyone I want you all to know that my youngest granddaughter (pointing towards me) has started getting her periods!" I was stunned and confused as everyone started looking at me, probably for two reasons, one was it a co-incidence that I was standing in the middle or is it the announcement that made me the centre of attention? Later, I realized people are congratulating us. This whole situation for me at that age was so very difficult to understand. 

Somewhere in the later part of the day I asked my dadi "why did you make that announcement? Mummy had asked me not to tell anyone anything about it." She replied like a typical mother-in-law "Oh your mother doesn't know anything. It is definitely time to celebrate as, you have stepped into the process of turning into a woman from a small girl."

Although I only understood her words but today, I realized the importance of her words. She was a woman who was much more modernized in her thoughts as per her age and era. 

Globally, the stigma of menstruation is perpetrated by the cultural taboos, discrimination, lack of education, silence and period poverty (the inability to get access to/afford feminine hygiene products). 

Sometimes I wonder if my dadi would have been alive today, she would definitely be a role model for modernization and women empowerment. 

Being a mother to sons, I have made up my mind to educate them about menstruation with same modernization so that the future generations are no longer taught to be ashamed of or keep silent about menstruation/periods or what ever you name it. 

https://sarrahblog.blogspot.com/

Dads lagging behind?

Don’t know why dad is always lagging behind when compared to mom

1. Mom carries for 9 months, dad carries for 25 years, both are equal, still don’t know why dad is lagging behind.

2. Mother works without pay for the family, dad spends all his pay for the family, both their efforts are equal, still don’t know why dad is lagging behind.

3. Mom cooks whatever you want, dad buys whatever you want, both their love is equal, but mom’s love is shown as superior. Don’t know why dad is lagging behind.

4. When you talk over the phone, you want to talk to mom first, if you get hurt, you cry ‘mom’. You will only remember dad when you need him, but did dad ever feel bad that you don’t remember him the other times? When it comes to receiving love from children, for generations, we see that dad is always lagging.

5.  Cupboards will be filled with colorful dresses and many clothes for kids but dad’s clothes are very few, he doesn’t care about his own needs, still don’t know why dad is lagging behind

6.  Mom has many gold ornaments, but dad has maybe only a chain.

7. Dad works very hard to take care of the family, but when it comes to getting recognition, he is always lagging behind.

8. When parents become old, children say, mom is at least useful in taking care of household chores, but they say, dad is useless.

Dad is behind or ‘at the back’ because he is the backbone for the family. Because of him, we are able to stand erect. Probably, this is the reason why he is lagging behind.

I came across this post and thought, really this person is so much correct! But then on second thought, I realized that, why does this really happen? Because my children don't love me more and their fatherless even though I'm a non earning parent.

As a child, I remember relatives or some known people asking me "who do I love more, mummy or daddy?" All I remember is standing there with a zip-locked mouth looking up to my parents turn by turn with a massive confusion in mind what to answer?

True, my mother got me new clothes, but my father earned that money.
True, my today's breakfast is as per my last night's wish, but every morning I must get up with my father's voice.
True, when I'm home from school I expect my mother to answer my doorbell, but every evening I wait to see my father return home as soon as possible.

In yesteryear, it was mandatory that men went out of the house for several hours to earn a living for his family and the woman would be at home and take care of the household work. Apparently the woman i.e., the mother who was first hand available for her children in their big and small needs. 

Nowadays we have women moving out of the house to earn a living, to support her husband financially for a secure future. In that case, children are been taken care of by their grandparents or servants. In such cases it is seen that children are more attached to their grandparents or anyone who is taking care of them. It is human nature that we get emotionally attached to those who stand by us in our needs, and they are still children.

I have a friend whose father moved to a gulf country to earn his family a living, back then technology was not so advanced. The time that he and his family spent with his father was just 30 days out of 365 days. Undoubtedly the gap between the father and his children was vast and for them, their mother was the only source of parenting.

In recent years technology has advanced drastically, perhaps that is the reason, even if both the parents are working, children and parents can communicate with each other very easily and quickly. Communication is the only way to build a bridge and fill in those gaps which exist in relationship.

I don't know how many will relate to this post and agree with my words.

Christmas drawing and it's faith

Christmas themed drawing made by my 9 year old son Hussain. 

On facebook I came across an advertisement where we could register ourselves and drawing  for a certain amount of money. I thought it was a good idea and shared it with Hussain. He was super excited and all geared up for the drawing. 

It so happened that when I  was registering him and his drawing online, it was showing error and I wasn't able to proceed further. I tried 3-4 times but didn't succeed. 

Although my little boy was very upset with the situation, but Alhumdolillah I'm blessed with very understanding kids. I made him understand what I always feel, that what ever happens, happens for good. May it wasn't right and fruitful for us that's why Allah ta'ala was stopping us and protecting us from problems. 

This is the only thing that keeps me positive in life.

Surprisingly Twins- Sarrah blog

The Entry Of Twins In My Life.

Today it so happened that my husband and his siblings had met after a very long time, as they have moved to different cities of different countries for career opportunities. My brother-in-law had invited us for lunch, although we stay just next door. One of my twins asked me if he could get ready and go. Giving him the permission I said let me get your jeans ready.

Well, I thought that was the end of our conversation, and I started to do the needful. But I was wrong. Instantly he popped another question at me, “mummy how do you come to know what I want?” to which on a lighter note I replied to him “because I’m your mummy.”

From his expressions, I could make out my answer was not satisfactory to him. Just to get him in confidence I asked him to gather his brothers as I need to tell them something. I then narrated to my kids one most important day of my life and tried to make them understand how the mother inside me tells me what is right for them.

 

It all started when I had already conceived but the doctor’s visit was still pending. I had some feeling inside me saying “Sarrah it’s two.” At that time I was in UAE with my husband. In the evening when he returned from work I gave him the good news over the dinner that he will be a father soon but, I think it’s two inside my stomach. My husband who was happy but with a doubt asked what made me feel like that. I tried to explain to him but it failed because I couldn't express or explain what made me so sure of double pregnancy. He asked me not to overthink, but I wasn't overthinking at all. All I could tell him was to visit the gynecologist soon and confirm the pregnancy.

The next day being his weekly off we went visiting a gynecologist for the pregnancy test. It was positive. Doctor asked us to get my first sonography done, and it showed her dual pregnancy.

With a pleasant smile on her face, the doctor congratulated me and said its dual pregnancy, nothing to worry or get tensed. I thanked her in return and said somehow I knew it’s twins but she needs to confirm it to my husband standing out. 

The doctor was surprised to my statement, how come I knew it's dual pregnancy, and ended up asking me if I had got myself tested elsewhere. I said no just the inner feeling. With a smiling ‘okay’ she called out to my husband who was standing out and waiting eagerly for me. When the gynecologist confirmed dual pregnancy to my husband he was in a complete state of shock. All that I could see is mixed expressions on his face. The doctor showed him the sonography video and pointed out the two eggs that could be seen.

That was the start of it and it continues till now when my twines are 10 years. I somehow know their 

needs.

After I finished telling them this incident all that I was left with was “mummy how do you come to know what we need?”

When I was young and my mother fulfilled my requirements without me telling her anything I also used to wonder, is she some superwoman or mind reader that she knows what I require. Even I must have troubled her with many of my whys and hows. She too must have tried to give me satisfactory answers which must have gone into the drain.

But now when I’m a mother myself I have got my answers and so will my kids when they become fathers(Ameen).

P. S. I have used little different words but with the same

feelings while narrating it to my children.

Think Outside The Box - Sarrah blog

On-road, with my younger son, we saw a hoarding 'Patels'. And my then 6-year-old now 7, read it as 'Petals'. Being a mother I immediately corrected his mistake by saying "it's Patels and not petals." I thought the conversation would end there, but it didn't. I got an instant question back, "What's the difference?" I answered him back by saying Patel is a surname or a family name and petal is a part of a flower. My son asked "which flower?" I said "any flower." To that my son said, "Okay but what is the difference?" That note made me anxious, for a simple reason that I knew my answer was clear and precise. I repeated my answer. He asked the same question "what's the difference?"

Usually, parents purchase some time from their kids by saying "I will answer you later " either because they are busy or they don't know the answer. In my case, I knew the answer but didn't know how to explain the same. I had no option, but to distract his mind and get talking with another topic.

We reached home and little did the time pass, again I was shot back with the same question, "what's the difference between Patel's and petals?" I abruptly repeated the answer, that's when one of my older sons said, "mummy it's just the placement of an A and E."

That's when I understood that, what we have learned in our lives is correct but what our children are exploring is much more the worth.

We as adults are so much use to the difference of right and wrong that we have limited ourselves to it. We hardly try to think outside the box and analyze what our younger generation requires. Fortunately, the younger generation is much smarter than we think. They can think out of the box and achieve their goals. All that they need is their parent's support. When we fail to do the same, this is probably what I call the generation gap. 

Father's Unexpressed Love- Sarrah Blog

Story Of A Cap

Being born and brought up in a typical Indian culture of the 1980s and 1990s, I always thought it's difficult for a father to express his love for his children by words and actions. 

This particular incident of my life changed my perspective towards my father's unexpressed love towards me.

To start with, this cap is made by me in my first attempt to knit a cap during my engagement period. I was engaged in June 2007 and was to marry in December 2007. My father’s birthday comes in October. I decided to give him a memorable gift, as I will be celebrating my father’s birthday at his home before my marriage. With a lot of gift items to select from, keeping in mind about my father's likes and dislikes. It was very difficult to make a decision.

 I wanted to give him something special. So I decided to make him a cap. This idea struck my mind when someone told me "Sarrah since you love crochet why don't you try knitting something useful and full of love and emotions for your father." 

Just for everyone's information, Dawoodi Bohra men wear a starched white cotton thread cap with golden zari thread. This golden zari thread is made of thin wire. The stitches must be tightly weaved compared to normal crochet work to make the cap stiff. Both the threads are knitted simultaneously to give it a design.

I inquired with my father about his choice of design, to which he replied, "as you wish."

As a daughter, I knew he would prefer the simple design and, I started my hard work.

Since I had started in July 2007 I was quite sure he would be able to wear it in the holy month of Ramadan which was in September 2007 then. In those days I was teaching in a school. So, in the morning I would go to work and at night I would sit to complete my crochet. In Ramadan, the important nights (Fazil Raat) were nearing and I too geared up, and at last, I finished knitting the cap on time.

I was very excited to see my father wearing my hand made gift. But, no he wore his old cap. I relaxed my self-thinking, after the holy month ends next day will be Eid and I waited eagerly for this Eid. My last at my parent's place and I will see my father in my hand made cap. But, no again he wore his old cap.

Again I thought to myself his birthday is appearing in October maybe then, again I got disappointed, you are right he wore his old cap. I felt like crying. But still, I looked forward to my marriage's Hussaini Majlis (A religious gathering). That was the last Majlis in my parent's place in Lucknow in November. During the gathering, he wore his old cap. That's when I lost all hope and thought 'should I ask him? Didn't he like the cap?' But I never had the heart to say anything.

For my marriage, we traveled to Mumbai for the preparation for my wedding. Staying at my Aunt’s place. I remember my aunt asking my father about his preparations in context to his attire, and he replied "yes it's ready."

In the Nikah ceremony (marriages) father usually wears a golden color turban.

My father had prepared all the clothes but he had not got his golden turban so I was confused about how come he said his clothes are ready. I asked my mother about it and she replied he will manage, don’t worry.

My wedding ceremonies started with functions of:-

Haldi i.e., Relatives of the bride and groom apply a special preparation of turmeric to the bride and groom in their respective homes.

Mehndi i.e., all the female members of the bridegroom family including the bride applies henna on their hands and legs.

Gol Sharbat or Mitthu- Muh is a celebration among close family members to shower their blessings on the couple. Somewhere in my heart I wished my father would wear my hand made cap but no, he didn't.

On my nikah day, my father was dressed in a simple kurta pajama. While sitting in the car together, traveling to the venue, I was in tears. Just like any other bride would be. You know these are probably your last few moments with your parents.

Just an imagination, a father like mine who usually don't express their unconditional love for their kids must be hugging their daughter on the nikah day and crying immensely.

In my case it was different.

How?

In the above paragraph, I have mentioned that in our Dawoodi Bohra community father's wear a golden turban. But, my father wore my handmade crochet cap.

It's been over a decade now since I'm married. Many caps he has changed but this one still remains with him.

That's my father's love for me.

Never expressed in words, only once expressed by action and that will last forever.

Mom Stories - Sarrah Blog

When I was a kid and did any sort of mischief, my grandmother would end up saying "when you will have children you will learn the lesson." It's been more than nine years of my motherhood and I'm just trying to figure out, which lesson she was talking about because I have learned many lessons till now.

With my 1st pregnancy and that too twin, initially, I was very excited but once I reached my sixth month and looked like nine months pregnant, all difficulties started to pop up in sitting, standing, etc. I started thinking, when will these two come out so I can be at little peace. That's when I got an advice from my friend.

Sarrah with each passing phase of motherhood you will feel that the previous phase was so easy and since you are finding the current phase difficult you will wish when will your kids grow up. Just accept the current phase and go with the flow.

In my mind, I was thinking "she has just one child and I'm pregnant with two" Well when these two gentlemen came out, I realized what my friend had said was right; be it one or two how does it matter? 😂
When we have children one after the other, I guess it's much easier to solve their arguments among them by saying son you are big you understand or you are small so you say sorry.

At my place, we exactly have a court of justice, with a judge that is me, culprit that is my one child, victim my another child, an eye witness my third child. Victims and the culprit play the roles of lawyers too. After a long session of hearing.......... Of course the judgment.........and that's how the problem is solved to an extent. Yes, I have three children now! 

Parenting is one role that is full of responsibilities. As a mother, we are expected to be perfect with everything related to our children. We are expected to pull off the roles of teacher, nurse, cook, driver, etc. with perfection without the realization that we are also humans and we too can make mistakes. This gradually leads to an unwanted burden on us. We do not realize this makes our mind, body, and soul weak. We lose the ability to make correct decisions for ourselves and our children. We forget to love and live for ourselves.

I can not deny the fact that one will give only what he or she has. In our busy lives, we should learn to love ourselves, so that, we are not dependent on anyone's love and we can easily pass on this love to our children.